Lambing Season

Shear Genius: The Autobiography of Wooliam Sheepspeare

In a sheepcote on a farm — somewhere betwixt Stratford-upon-Avon and a most bewildered petting zoo — there lived a sheep me: Wooliam Sheepspeare, bard, bleater, and bringer of drama to pastures near and far.

Whilst my brethren contented themselves with nibbling grass and contemplating fence logistics, I dream’d of greater things — of scripts, soliloquies, and sheepish fame! Nay, I could not merely graze through life. I must phrase through life! Thus were born my earliest works: The Taming of the Ewe, Lamlet, and that tragic romance, Rameo and Eweliet. Each a tale of love, loss, and lanolin.

Armed with naught but a quill and an incurable fondness for the spotlight, I sought to prove a simple truth: iambic pentameter soundeth even better when bleated. (Try it sometime, gentle reader — ‘tis most moving on the third “baa.”)

Centuries have pass’d — or perhaps only a nap or two, time being a woolly thing — yet my spirit endureth in a merry enterprise known as Wooliam Sheepspeare Designs. Here, a troupe of artists, educators, and incurable theatre nerds doth weave my legacy anew: shirts, posters, and gifts that marry high culture with low-key chaos.

We craft for those who quote monologues before breakfast, who teach drama with heroic patience, who see philosophy in a punchline and poetry in a pun. Our wares are, by my own modest measure, a thousand percent more original than yon average theatre merch.

So whether thou art a Shakespeare scholar, a philosophy enthusiast, or a teacher whose students deserve hazard pay, I stand ready to assist thee in wearing thy wit and brilliance proudly upon thy sleeve.

For life, my dear friends, is but a stage — and I, Wooliam Sheepspeare, am determined to steal the scene.

Exit, pursued by applause (and possibly a sale). 🎭🐑